RE-PUKED

Of course another ridiculous disaster happened to me again.
As usual the one in a million chance finds me.
Shall we?
After partying at Els birthday bash which was a ton of fun, ps- Hi EL! I opted not to drive home because I am a responsible adult.
Luckily I was able to score a nice spot on the corner of Elizabeth and Prince, seeing as though the New Museum was right around the corner, I was stoked. It was even more amazing when I saw that my car wouldnt be towed in the AM and that my spot was a legitimate one. Blah blah. Side note, everyone had to wear a color other than black, white navy or gray. I was in my hot pink and red dress, D picked me up and told me that I looked like a FRUIT LOOP- the nerve!!
Whatevs, I was feeling good and that comment wasnt going to get to me.
I woke up the next morning with a headache to beat the band. I had a ton of homework to do. My car was in the city and I had to go get it. TORTURE. It was then that I was riling myself up about driving it into the city to begin with the night before.
The traffic into the city was absolute hell. Traffic. Short stops in the cab. Freezing cold out. An hour later after a drive that normally takes 20 minutes tops I arrived at my car.
I clicked the unlock button and walked over to the car. At first it looked like a bird infected with the avian flu exploded on my car mixed with the runs. That wouldve been a blessing compared to what I found.
Someones HUMAN stomach exploded on my windshield and my window. Frozen puke. Covered. Colorful. With that distinctive pinkish vomit hue to it. Wow, (my color theory class really is getting to me) This person mustve downed IPECAC 3 minutes before stopping at my car inducing this kind of vomit. We are talking gallons here. I just stared blankly and screamed, WHY ME?? Have I not experienced enough shit? I started shivering and climbed into the car. People were staring at me and laughing. I had to drive this barf ball all the way to brooklyn and straight to the car wash. Forgetting the fact that my wiper fluid did nothing because this crap was clearly frozen and embedded. I kept having to stare at someone elses vomit which at this point I started to see blue speckles in it.. BARFFFFF. Its bad enough when we puke in the toilet and have to look at it for a sec before flushing but having to sit in some strangers digestive track for 45 minutes in traffic was a completely different life changing experience for me. People were staring at me at every red light with a "party hardy" / "someone needs to lock this chick up" look. It was quite unsexy. Two car washes later- the car was fine.The people at the car wash were not. They didnt even wanna let their hose touch my car for fear of the ricochet factor. I however am still not fine, and am scarred for life. Im pretty much convinced at this point that nothing else can top this one for at least another good 6 months. But at the rate im going next week should bring another lovely surprise.