CIRCLE GETS A SQUARE..

The other day I had lunch with J at PASTIS. We sat outside and were enjoying some good convo and what not. A typical lunch. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw this group of people sitting on these jumbo stone cubes on the cobble stone street. I guess theyre a tourist attraction or whatever.. It looked like two mothers and two kids. So, where was I? Oh yeah, so I see this kid mischievously coveting a huge black mirky puddle and pacing around it. Silently- Im thinking to myself, his mother better pay attention.. They were engrossed in convo playing the "oh we have kids?" role, which basically meant that they werent paying attention to this three year old blondie in sweats or his six year old sister.

I say nothing. Oblivious parents are obnoxious, but who cares, right? So, J and I are talking and eating and suddenly. as Im sipping my soda J screams out - NO!! NO!! NO!!- I immediately look up shocked by his outburst to see him shouting out to the little boy- 20 ft away, no less-to stop jumping into the 6 inch deep puddle. His face had horror written all over it as he watched the kid splishing and slashing in the filthy cess pool of a new york puddle in the MEAT PACKING district. I crack up laughing from J. The mothers look up for a sec to see what the shouting is all about and go right back to their convo. They glanced at the kid and really didnt care. Now my face was covered in horror. GROSS, I say, that puddle is so vile, His sweatpants are so done. J is still frozen and shouting "PLEASE STOP!" "OMG HE NEEDS TO STOP RACH- I CANT WATCH THIS" He was frantic and for the first time in a while, I wasnt the only square in a circle town. 

"That boy needs to be bathed in a tub of CLOROX when he gets home" with my lip involuntarily curled in disgust, I say. " HE CANT GO HOME, HES FILTHY!!" J says. I dug into my salad. The mom finally looked up at the kids and told him to sit in his stroller. His older sister was wiping him off with her coat like a little mother hen- No doubt- shes going to resent her mother forever for having to be the mother "parent" who was robbed of her childhood.

We both gave the mom a mega dose of stinkeye and moved on with the rest of  our lunch. The boy- for sure- had the time of his life.

THE END.