Yesterday I spent most of the day at the DMV in brooklyn. Yeah, it was definitely an experience. Not one I would care to relive ever again. That place is the pits. It was my second time going there in 2 days and I wasnt going to risk having to go back. Why you ask? I needed to change my license over to a NY state one. It seems that in order to do this, you must have.. drumroll please.... 1. Actual birth certificate. 2. Social security card. 3. Passport. Now if you ask me, its a bit hysterical considering that you just need a fake license to blow up a plane but to switch over a state license that is valid, you need a complete write up of your lineage. It made me wonder, what does one do if they are like 60 and they need to do this? I mean, to have your birth certificate from that long ago along with your original social security card too?? Sheesh. Anyway, in getting all of my documentation together I discovered that for over 20 years, my mom had me thinking that my birth weight was 9 lbs 3 oz. It turns out I was 9.2. I was livid. How could she make such an error? I have been living a lie all of this time. Upon confronting her with this info, she was like, no way. You were 9.3, for sure. Whatever, I was a blimp.
Anywhoo, this girl standing in front of me had none of the required credentials but she was hell bent on getting her license. I had the conversation with her in my head but declined giving her my input. I was too freaked out by her constant swaying back and forth. This was completely freaking me out. Im waiting on this line for a good hour and this girl is swaying nonstop. I tried to just back up a bit so as not to be right on top of her but the dude behind me had halitosis to another level. I suddenly found myself entrapped by the 2 things that haunt me most. Fidgetting AND foul odors. I thought to myself why? What did I do to deserve this fate? Clearly there had to be a deeper meaning for this ordeal. And then it came to me. Gd was trying to test me to see if id really follow through with this process, because he knew that under such circumstances, id normally jet the hell out of there. This was an endurance test and I wasnt going to fail. I took some deep breaths in my hand and fought back the urge to grab her shoulders to hold her still and scream STOPPPPPP, PLEASE!!!! In turn I started to just hum the song GANGSTAS PARADISE to myself and she was eventually thrown off the line for not having proper documentation. I finally reached the front, took a crappy pic and had to wait on the other line to pay and claim my license. Another hour. Twas torture.com but I am stronger from the whole experience and glad its over with.
4 comments:
That sounds like the worse thing ever, but such a beautiful recollection. YEAH
rach-i had a DMV horor story as well. So i turned 21 and i needed to get a new licence-ok i thought piece of cake. In fact i was SIKED to finally have a new picture because my old picture was awfull. No i know what your thinking, everyone says there DMV picture is bad but i win hands down, i have had this contest with every person, we noth say our picture is bad, look at both pictures and then the other person says "wow i tohught mine was bad, but yours is much worse grace". So that morning i made sure my hair looked decent applied a little make-up and thought i looked pritty cute, if i could say so my self. i was determined to have a god pic once and for all. Ok so i wait and wait and im about to pay when i open my wallent and notice i only have 4 dollers. I had to go home get 20 bucks and go back!!!! now i get back and get back on the line and i get this cute guy whos about to take my picture. he looks at my licence and he goes "wow you know i worked in a prison for 4 years, you look like an inmate" THATS ALL I NEEDED. i was about to flip when he decideds to be SUPER nice. i didnt like the first picture so he let me take it again, and again and again. thats right i had an all out photo shoot at the DMV. anyways my pic came out SLAMMING hahah and then hees like you know i live in asbury-its only i town over from deal- we should have a drink sometime" i took my licence and bolted...hope you liked my little story- PS hate the DMV. hope i never ever have to see the walls of that joint.
grace- hahaah that story was amazing!hahah, a shoot, classic! i was actually shy to ask the guy to take another photo of me, so i have no idea what mine looks like. I was found myself wondering internally, do I realllly want to see myself with bangs for the next 10 years until this thing expires??!! it all seemed so final but it happened so fast, and before i knew it I was snapped and it was over, im still waitbg for my perm. one to come in the mail, we shall see and compare 'em next time. mwahahaah
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
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