I Beg Your Parking?

Is it me or are parking lots out of control lately? Yes, I know that certain lots are a bust out, like the one right near Barneys, and Solo building on 57th, but things are outta control lately.
Yesterday, I went to Saks to buy a birthday gift. Forgetting the fact that lately, i find it a bit unnerving when I try to park my car and wait for a ticket - the attendant stares at the car with this judgemental look, looking for dents to point out to you . I always feel the need to defend each scratch and be like, 'oh that dent, wasnt my fault, this girl just hit me when i was parked" "could you believe it?" Why does parking ones car have to feel like a deposition?.. Anywhoo..
No joke, I was there from 1-3:06. Fifty nine she says. I have the 40 dollars in my hand thinking ok, I know its a rip off, but im lazy and wont walk more than a block anywhere. I said i'm sorry, I thought you just said 59, how much? She says "yea, 59 dollars" $59!!! as she looks at me unflinching with her 10 dollar press on nails. Anyone who knows me knows that i'm not like that at all. But sixty dollars to park your car for 2 hours and 6 minutes? Jeez, all I did was park my car in a lot. It's not like I asked them to babysit my kids or dogs or anything. Seriously, think about it, going to the movies with a date doesnt even cost 60 dollars, and there you can be entertained for 2 hours AND have a soda and a few other snacks. I look at the rates list. Up to 1 hour $23, up to 2 hours $29. More than 2 hours... $59. Im sorry, i feel so violated. It should just read, more than 2 hours... YOURE SCREWED. What is the world coming to when the girl taking your money at the parking lot makes 60 dollars a day and has the nerve to make you feel stupid when you quake at the price of a 60 dollar bill for 2 hours? Not even a hug goodbye? AND to add insult to injury, my seat is practically in the lying down position, my car smells like musk meets chinese food, the temperature was lowered AND, ANDDD they had the nerve to change the radio station. Now, correct me if im wrong, but duder just had a party in MY car, HE should pay me! I officially need a bus pass.

Told You So...

Wow, I hate to toot my own horn... but TOOT freaking TOOT!!

Check out NYLON magazines newest blog.
http://www.nylonmag.com/spaceytracy/

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Check it...
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Spacey Tracy
Video won't kill these radio (and everything else they do) stars.
Wednesday 22 August 2007 at 3:07 pm
Yoo guyz, so NYLON and I have been huge fans of Jason Schwartzman for awhile now. So it is not surprsiing that a) Rooney was the previous blog post (Jason's brother Robert is Rooney's frontman), b) Jason's new project/band Coconut Records is one of the top played albums in the office right now because... well, it is sick! So when google-ing and stalking Jason and Coconut Records, I came across his music video for the great song "West Coast" off of Nighttiming (Coconut Records' debut album). Leave it to Jason to sync an epic video of epic skater Mark Gonzalez "the gonz" to some of his super sweet soothing tunes.
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Thought it was kinda cool that you read it here first. ANNND they even post the same video.
Cheers.
I have BLOGGERHEA.

Unchartered Territory

This morning I had to give six people a ride. I took my sisters car because hers has more room. It was raining and it was cold. I ran out of the house with just the key. As I pulled up to the first house, I gave the horn a honk. Nothing sounded, I did it again, nothing. I pounded the steering wheel, nothing. Are you freaking kidding me?? I thought. Who has a horn that doesnt work. I was doomed and sweatshirtless. I had to go up to every single door and ring the bell. The day had just begun and already I was screwed. Hi is omen there? Why me? Why does stuff like this ALWAYS happen to me? Whatever. As I was driving home I put her cd player on and there was not ONE song I knew on this disc. How is that even possible? I know a lot of music and this disc had not ONE song I knew. Music is a big deal to me so I sorted through her cds, I was appalled when I saw Beyonce in the selection and in a rage I slammed the hump shut. I had to listen to the radio?? Why is it that every station has people blabbing about nonsense in the AM. I just wanted a decent tune. I settled on Sheryl Crows STRONG ENOUGH on 102.7. Fine, ill take it. As she was singing it dawned on me, poor girl is singing about a man being strong enough to be her man, she sings, 'lie to me, but please dont leave... me....' Turns out Lance Armstrong wasnt strong enough to be her man and left her. Sad day. So much for songs having validity and wishful thinking. I went into foodtown to get a few groceries because what the hell its 9 in the morning and im soaking wet. As i was checking out I heard Pete Bjorn and John's YOUNG FOLK playing. I used to have it as a ring tone so I checked my phone even though I knew it wasnt possible. I was impressed that anyone else in Jersey would have this ringtone let alone in foodtown. I surveyed the lines and no one was picking up their phone. The tune carried on.. It then dawned on me, HOLY SHIT, its playing in the supermarket. WOW. Once 80 year old women are bopping along to the song while comparing the price of Charmin brand toilet paper to the sand paper Foodtown brand its fair to say this song is Done. Cooked. Toast. As I was driving home, Marc Conh's WALKING IN MEMPHIS came on. Today wasnt going to be all that bad after all.

Ew, Unfresh.

I think that Colgate original toothpaste is the best kind out there on the market. When I want to have a childhood flashback id even settle on Auquafreash, you know the one with the 3 colors that looks so cool in the clear dispenser? What really grosses me out is this new gel craze? EWWWW. When im brushing my teeth I like to see bubbles and a work up of foam in my mouth. Its the only way I really know that im getting a good cleaning, I like to put a thick strip on my toothbrush of white paste and watch that strip turn into a bubble bath in my mouth. The other day I noticed that I was out of colgate and opted to use whatever was in the bathroom. I seriously got sad when I saw this aesthetically pleasing modern looking triangularish shaped bottle of toothpaste gel sitting on the sink counter. What is this crap, I went to put it on my toothbrush and it seriously ran thru the bristles, if it runs through the toothbrush like this, imagine what it does in your mouth? How could this runny substance clean anything let alone a mouthful of teeth? Granted the tube never loses its shape and youll never have to rub out that glob of paste stuck to the sink when using colgate, but part of the fun with colgate is squeezing it to the last drop, contorting it into all kind of shapes and angles just to get that last drop out. Then after brushing having that option to be completely lazy and scuzzy and leave the globs of white in the sink (gross) or rubbing it out with your thumb so that your brushing experience was all to yourself. How lazy have we americans become when we need watered down blue crap to brush our teeth with that has no lather, no substance or authenticity. Do we really need to cut down on our brushing time that badly where tooth brushing time is just as mundane as every other event that transpires during the day? I think not. I refuse to give into the lazy boy solution to brushing my teeth. What next? Just squirt the gel into your mouth and itll do all the rest for you? Gosh. That junk seems just as effective as swishing around a mouthful of mouthwash instead of brushing ones teeth. Im gonna keep it old school until Colgate stops making their original red and white tube of fresh. I will have a a bubbly suds party in my mouth 3 times a day and smile like a mean it and theres nothing anyone can do to stop me.

The Boogie Man Cometh

As a child I always saw the boogie man as a scary dark smokey ghost who tormented little kids when the house was empty. He was mean and intimidating. He paid you a visit when you were punished, he hid under your bed when you watched a scary movie and he surfaced when all the adults were gone. He followed you to the basement when you went to find a book at night in the dark and he followed you to the kitchen in the middle of the night when all were aleep. But today- If you ask me, the boogie man is still alive and well. As I go thru life now I no longer see the boogie man as a mean spirited phantom, I see him as someone or something that stands in my way and prevents me from feeling safe and from feeling centered. I have had many a run ins with this said boogie man. Follow me on this one for a moment, will you?
The boogie man has been my chemistry teacher. Chemistry was the course I got an F in and it still bothers me til this day. The boogie man was the cop who pulled me over once and made me so uncomfortable when he made me step out of my car in a dress and made me pick up a wrapper I dropped out the window at night in the dark. The boogie man was someone whom I was with for a very long time who always made me feel as though I was never good enough. The scream machine was and still is the boogie man to me. My credit card is the boogie man sometimes, tempting me to buy things I dont need. The mean boss at LA smoothie was the boogie man for a while, she was always so mean. my scooter was the boogie man too before I learned how to ride it. Shit, even my mac was the BM at one point when I was apple illiterate. The DMV was home to all boogie men, its where they all congregated and set out on their mission for the day.. I once viewed my trainer as the boogie man. Haahaah. Now I know that this sounds really dorky and corny but its true. We empower our own boogie men. Ive given so many people and situations the power to scare me, but in all honestly, its a weak way to live. We all need to grow some you know whats, and face up to our own boogie man because only then do they diminish and turn into little cockroaches. With that being said, that bird that shit on me the other day, was my daily visit from the boogie man in the avian form. Just kidding, obvs. Feeling afraid feels good sometimes because it lets me know that I am human, conquering my fears lets me know that I am capable and strong.. So yeah, look your boogie men in the eye and watch them disintegrate, trust me its been working a ton for me lately. We all have nothing to fear but fear itself, right? and of course, the hairy dark ugly smokey boogie man.
Heres a song I like to listen to when i conquer a biggie. Enjoy.



MODEST MOUSE- FLOAT ON

Hit Me With Your Best Shot.

A little while ago I was riding my pride and joy doing some errands along the water. I was wearing a flarey shirt and shorts which isnt a really good idea due to the wind factor, but of course I realized it after I was well on my way. So yeah, my whole stomach and back was exposed.... Best part was I had no idea because my helmet is like a cage so its impossible to even look down, thanks to way too many thumbs up by passerbys I eventually figured it out. Moving along, after trying to tuck in my shirt somewhat, a block later I felt a huge mass fall from the sky, slapping into my chest like a big rock, then hitting my somewhat exposed stomach.."what the hell was that?, ouch!!" Now, there was nothing I could do, I was in the middle of a main road and I couldnt just stop, I needed to be tough.. I finally hit a red light and felt my chest. It confirmed my inkling, A bird had just SHIT on me. What the hell are the odds that a bird shits on ME while riding MY scooter, there were a zillion cars around me...I touched my chest and after further investigating I found that , It was also in my hair, on my hand, on my stomach. This bird was no chickadee nor pigeon, this mustve been an obese falcon because the amount of shit I was covered in was enough to fills a babys pamper. I rode shit clad 2 more miles to the pharmacy where I needed to get wipes and regroup. The pharmacist and the workers were dying when they saw me. They needed five minutes to compose themselves. I laughed with them, but the joke was on me, I regrouped and left.

I guess im just destined to always be shit on one way or another.

The End.

SO....

SOMETIMES I HAVE BLOGGERHEA, SOMETIMES I DONT is my blog where I say what I want.

Nerd.

I dont know what it is exactly that makes me laugh so hard from the word nerd. Maybe its just that its the cleanest possible insult word that I know. I remember when my dad went to open school night and met our new principal, I asked him when he got home what he thought of him and he just said "hes a nerd" It was hysterical. My dad just made fun of our new leader and he was my hero.
When I was in sixth grade, I was promoted to the smart class. Apparently my achievement test scores were in the 94th percentile. When I got my class cards revealing this new class number I cried and insisted that there was a mistake. "Thats the nerdy class", I said to my mom. I had her call the school to confirm. After a long conference with the dean, it was revealed that this was not a bad dream, I was now in the smart class. I already felt my friends distancing themselves. The nightmare was beginning.
Thing is, when youre in the average class, there is this unspoken bond between the classmates. Everyone passes their tests most of the time and everyones homework gets somewhat done and is in exactly the same wording. But the main mission on a daily basis was to goat each other on until someone got in trouble, thrown out of class and/or made a teacher cry or curse. We'd high five each other and brag about the havoc we wreaked over lunch mid day. My mind went blank. What the hell was I going to do in a class where no one cheated, and you were deemed cool based upon how many number 2 sharpened pencils you had on hand in your jansport? I didnt belong there. I didnt have a pen pal and I never made study plans on the weekend. I hated jeopardy and only ate sugar cereals for breakfast. I had never eaten a nutri grain bar and my mom wasnt on the PTA.
I went to class and sulked the whole time. "What do you mean everyone does their extra credit work on the weekend?" "Wait, everyone did ALL of their homework and no one wanted to "loan" me theirs during lunch time?" "We dont eat snacks during class and pass notes?? What the hell was this, reform school?" The kids in the class werent exactly inviting me to join their study clicks either. They were just as annoyed having me in the class as much as I was unhappy to be there. "She probably cheated" I once heard the head nerd say to the other queen nerd.
After crying in the principals office for days and nagging my mother to death, she finally agreed to insist that they change my class. My teacher whom I was terrified of, asked me to meet with her before lunch one day. I went sweaty palmed into the classroom . This 85 pound woman scared the living death out of me. She in her soft spoken voice, urged me to give it one last try. She completely believed in me and that made me feel good. I also felt sad because I knew that I was letting her down and everyone else who was so proud of me.
I did move classes, the teacher never did say hello to me again. My parents were so cool, they always supported the big fish in the little pond theory and it saved my mental state in school. I felt badly, but also so much happier to be with my friends and out of the nerdy zombie class. I was content sneaking tostitos at 10 am in my mouth in between sentences and one day even having to perform the heimlich maneuver on myself mid bite when the teacher called on me and I choked on the corn chip when i tried to hide my chewing. I was fine sharing my homework with my friend who was playing f-zero all night long on super nintendo and just didnt feel like doing their social studies work. This was where I was comfortable.
Looking back, its quite ironic that I felt so strongly because today I am content with being a nerd. I like to read and learn. I love sharpened pencils and I love nerds. Im still a complete goofball but I definitely have a nerdy side to me. I love going to the bookstore when I have nothing to do and getting lost inside. I love reading about things that I want to learn more about on Wikkipedia, and a trip to staples during back to school always excited me. Had I stayed in the nerdy class I probably wouldnt have been Student Council president, because lets face it, I won because I was crazy and goofy and because I had enough time on my hands (thanks to cliffs notes) to challenge teachers and insist that z100 be played in the hallways during period switches. Today, Id probably get more street cred had I been an awkward nerd in school, but I wasnt and thats that.