PIERCE OUT..

Why anyone would find those nose piercings that go like a bar across ones nostrils to be appealing? How does it happen? Does one wake up one day and think to oneself, "hmm, I bet id be a chick magnet if I got this super long steel bar in my nostrils??, im bound to drive the girls crazy with this bad boy"
I saw this boy today who looked kinda cute, I got a closer look and almost gagged when I saw this thing with 2 balls coming out of his nose. I started to really get carried away and wondered, what does this dude do when hes sick with a cold? Ert, gross. Does he beep when he goes through the metal detector in the airport? When hes kissing a girl does it smash her nose and get caught in her nose? When he has to itch his nose does it turn into a blood bath? If its cold out and hes wearing a scarf, does it get snagged? I dont get it man. Those things are tragic. While we are on piercings, what about those doughnut ones you see on peoples ears?? Now those, those are insane. It reminds me of those Sally Struthers commercials when I was growing up for Save The Children in Africa, where the women have these torn earlobes and look so sad. Seriously, what is that? Why would anyone want a black rubber loop lodged in their ear lobe forcing a quarter sized hole in it. Also is it like a gradual process? Do you start out with a raisin sized loop and gradually work your way up to a ping pong sized loop? Is it the ultimate in status the day you can fit your thumb through your earring? Whatevs.
I dont mean to sound judgemental here, because I do believe in letting your freak flag fly and doing whatever it is that makes you happy- who the hell am I to determine freaky from vile, Im just saying....

PS- Wanna hear a really great tune? Its a really fun, fuzzy- all of you chime in together kind of song/ tap your fingers on your steering wheel, okay that sounds dorky, maybe just tap your foot while driving- tune,
THE MYRIAD HARBOUR by THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS its on the CHALLENGERS album. Enjoyz.