8 DAYS??

Today is the second day of Hannukah, well really the first, well wait, I dont know. Bottom line is tonight we light 2 candles. Lately people have been saying "wow, you get 8 presents?? thats so awesome" I'd kinda smile back and think to myself, well no, not really, not since I was like 7 did I ever get that many presents but I was secretly baffled by that statement. You celebrate Christmas dont you? Arent there like 12 days? Id say to myself. I never actually verbalized it because the time just passed me by and it would seem weird to say that in passing. Finally I got the gall up to say it the other day. It went something like this.

Person 1- "So wait, you lucky fool, you get EIGHT whole presents??? thats so awesome!!, Gosh, so lucky"

Me- "Well, not really, I get like one or 2 tops"
HMMM, awkward silence. PAUSE.

Me- " Wait, but dont you guys have like 12 days of Christmas? I mean you have a radical tree with lights and stockings and stuff, presents all around it TWELVE of them, that song "On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me...." I never understand why people are so hung up about the whole 8 days thing"

Person 1- " Oh no!!!! We only get one day of presents on Christmas, not 12"

Me- "Well then. It seems that we are all screwed, huh? If you ask me you guys are even more screwed after all that false representation in that song. Bummer for you."

Person 1- HMMM. Yeah I guess youre right"

The moral of this story is, no matter what you celebrate, its is all under false pretenses, we all get one or 2 presents, hopefully they are cool and somewhat useful. PS- I hear im getting a super rad camera, SCORE!! We all have our little gags to play with whether it be some eggnog or a dreidel, a stocking or some golden chocolate coins, holiday time is holiday time. Traffics a bitch. Parking lots are expensive. People are annoying in their festive sweaters and people still say CHHHHHanukkah, where it sounds like they are hocking a major loogie while doing so.

On another note, I still laugh my ass off everytime I hear ADAM SANDLERS- HANUKKAH SONG.

So funny, OJ SIMPSON, not a jew.

Happy Chrismakkah.