BLUE NOTE...

Today, we lost a great man. Earlier this morning I was shocked to hear that my old teacher Lonny Benamy (a'h) had passed away. Upon hearing the news, my body immediately felt as if I had been kicked in the stomach. Immediately I was overcome with sadness, regret and devastation. Aside from losing my grandma 10 years ago, thankfully I'd never really lost anyone remotely close to me. This was a sad second.

Lonny was my 9th grade biology teacher in high school. From the very first day of class, I liked him. He stood out from the rest of the teachers. He had a larger than life way about him. He was extremely educated which made me feel privileged to be in his class. He was real. As a child I loved science. I always wanted to be a nurse. Lonny's class was something I looked forward to. He was the type of person who knew everything about everything, yet he took the time to indulge us with our questions and allowed us to challenge a point. He listened and encouraged us to be inquisitive. His dry humor always made us laugh in class. He was the school nurse. He was the disciplinarian. He had office hours for late note excuses, cut clearing, gum chewing fines, untucked shirts and anything else you could think of. His office during lunch time was a mad house. Lonny was a HUGE figure in high school. You didn't want to mess with him either.

I can say without any hesitancy that he liked me, for whatever strange reason! When he wasn't in the mood to joke around you knew it. One time I called out something silly and nonsensical in class, normally he'd laugh or roll his eyes; if you were lucky he'd come up with a one liner that shredded you in a harmless way, leaving the class rolling in laughter. However this time he wasn't in the mood. "R, go down to Mr. Meller" he said as he filled out the dreaded GREEN CARD. I was aghast. ME??? How could he get me in trouble?? See, that was the thing, with Lonny no one was above the law. I didn't care though. I still valued him and thought of him as one of my favorites. I forgave him even though he didn't ask for forgiveness. Right before I left school he asked to meet with me. I was confused. "What did he want to talk about? Did I do something wrong? Am I in
trouble?" all of that circulated in my head. It turned out that he just wanted to make sure that I was happy. We spoke about schools and continuing my education. He let me know that if I ever needed any help with applying and what not, he was there- he wanted to wish me well. My sisters A and S were still in school once I had left and every now and then he would ask them how I was and what I was up to. At that time, I was in culinary school. I couldnt believe that he cared. He had so many students. My friends' parents had him! He knew everyone, yet he cared about what I was up to and how I was holding up? I am sure that he was like that with many.

I remember after I left school it was a bit complicated getting all of my records together. Trying to get my transcript was a nightmare. One day I just went to the school and asked to pick it up. No one could really help me. I went to Lonny's class. He was in the middle of teaching. I knocked on the door, he came out and saw that I was frustrated. He told his class that he would be right back. He helped me as much as he could. He was just THAT type of person. He also kept to his word. If he said he would be somewhere, he'd be there. Anytime we invited him to a wedding or a charity event, he would come with a smile.

Setting all of that aside, he had a heart of gold. Lonny was there for me in school as a mentor, as an advisor and as a friend after I left school. Whenever I was in his presence I felt lucky to know him. He was a great listener. He never judged. He was the picture of good health. A few years ago, I had heard that Lonny became sick. The first emotion that hit me was shock. How on earth could someone like him get sick?? This man took such great care of himself. Well, I guess that was an immature thought because we all know that getting sick has nothing to do with that. He was just unlucky. As soon as I had heard I rushed to call him. It turned out that he was in a hospital in Brooklyn recovering from surgery. I remember baking him a band-aid cake and taking it to the hospital. I wanted to show him that I continued school after leaving and that I could make a crazy cake! When I walked into the room I expected to feel awkward or pressed for words. I should've known better! Lonny was in great spirits. He LOVED the cake and was so appreciative that I brought something with me. A few minutes into the visit, his childhood friend walked into the room, I felt like I should give them alone time and started to put my jacket on. He looked at me and said "Where are you going?" I said that I wanted to give them some privacy, he looked at me like I was crazy. "Sit down" he said, "Don't be silly". I did just that. Lonny introduced me to his friend and explained to him that I was a student of his a while ago. They started to share stories and I just listened in, amazed by their solid friendship. Next thing I knew, they were including me in the conversation! Again, I felt so lucky to know him.

He looked at his sickness as a little hurdle to overcome. He was not going to let it slow him down. He talked about his three kids and how proud he was of each and every one of them. He talked about his love of Cornell, which was nothing new! He talked about his travels- he loved to travel. He was a man with an agenda. He loved to be active. I couldn't help but feel sad seeing him like that in a hospital bed. I hoped that he would get better because a slow paced lifestyle wasn't for him. All he could talk about were his runs and walks in the park and how much he loved the outdoors and hiking. He wasn't worried, he was determined. We talked about going for lunch with my sisters once he got out of the hospital. He called to thank me for visiting and asked me for the recipe for the cake I baked. His mother loved it, he said. Thats was Lonny, he always was appreciative. He followed up.

My sister Dee and I went for lunch with him some time later. He was so happy to see her too. He wanted to know what she was up to. How her new baby was. I remember joking around, saying that it wasn't fair that Dee and my brother in law, both brown eyed people had a baby blue eyed child. We laughed about dominant and recessive genes, something he taught us in Biology class. We had such a nice time. We laughed a lot. He was so easy going. He looked great. He told us that he was feeling good. He refused to be told to take it easy. He was slowly building up his strength and was walking a ton in the park. He told us that he started out at a slow pace in small distances months earlier and that he had built his way up to jogging miles again. He was basically a walking miracle. He was so proud of his progress. We were amazed but not maybe surprised. Lonny was one of the strongest people I've ever come into contact with. If anyone was going to beat the odds, it was him and he did just that. With all of his strength I expected him to be guarded. To my surprise he was not. He was a person just like the rest of us. He was open about his treatments. He spared nothing. I respected him even more for that. In writing this, I am teary eyed. The thought of him being gone is surreal. I believed that he would out live us all. We spoke a few more times after that lunch. He came out to New Jersey for the day one time during the summer to hang with all of us. We made lunch by the house and took it easy. It was a great day. He spoke about his kids with such pride. His daughter was a writer and he was so proud of her. His sons were in school and he couldn't be any happier. He was in great spirits. He was better. I knew he would be. We all knew he'd beat it. In typical Lonny fashion, he called the next day to thank us and said that he had an amazing day. He always followed up.

When I found out that Lonny had passed, I was in disbelief. I had no idea that he was sick again. The last time I saw him he was doing well. Yes being sick took somewhat of a toll on him but he looked great. Immediately I rushed back to Brooklyn to attend the funeral. "This couldn't be" was all I said over and over to myself on the ride in. "How did I not know that he was
sick?" None of that mattered now. He was gone. Oddly, he had popped into my mind last week. I had made a mental note to call him. Sadly I never got to speak with him. I was told that his health took a turn for the worse and that it all happened relatively fast. I wish I knew. He lived in my neighborhood, whenever I drove by his house I thought of him. Just knowing that he lived nearby was nice.

Dee and I went to the funeral. It was too sad to describe. The speeches were special. Hearing his children speak was gut wrenching. They spoke beautifully and captured his essence. It just wasn't enough. I had so much to say. I wanted everyone to know how he affected so many lives. I wanted his kids to know just how special we thought he was. I wanted him to know that everything that I learned in his class stuck with me. I wanted him to know that it felt great dropping the term vestigial structures every now and then. I wanted him to know that Darwin's Finches still freak me out and that one day I'd make my way to Galapagos Island. I wanted him to know that I was glad to know him. I wanted him to know that I use the word "like" a lot less now. Unfortunately I cant tell him any of this. What I do know now, is that life is short. Today is what counts- not tomorrow. I feel lucky to have known him.

Lonny had a zest for life. He set the bar high and he overcame because he refused to let his sickness get the best of him. He lived life to its fullest. Which is what I intend to do.


May he rest in peace.

Lonny Benamy A"H.