NEW POST..

I haven't disappeared or anything, I've just been busy. Life has been one huge roller coaster over the last couple of months. I will say that I have taken many things for granted that I no longer do. Family gatherings mean the world to me, they always have been a key component to my existence; but suddenly they have taken on new meaning in my eyes. My sarcasm and wit seem to be faltering but I am- still me. I've had a lot of time to assess my forth and short comings. I've learned that my relationships with people are crucial. I've learned that I am not fearless nor am I invincible.

Sometimes I ponder the idea of writing a novel, but who would read it?

I took the time to take an IQ test to gage and assess just how smart I really am. It turns out that I am no genius nor am I a nincompoop, I know! Who knew that it was spelled that way, right?! (PS- I'm above average, in case you were wondering.)

A story--

Two weeks ago, I borrowed my mother's car. I was beyond excited to connect my ipod to her sound system. I was using it quite often and left it in the car. We live in Brooklyn, so of course the doors are always locked after leaving it. Anyway, I returned the car to her and had a feeling that I'd be borrowing it again soon, so I left all of my crap in it. One night, I was visiting my parents. When I was ready to leave, my mother offered to drive me home. I took her up on the offer. We walked out to the car and I pulled on the door handle to open the door. I am that person who never gives the driver enough time to unlock the door before trying to open it. The driver usually rolls their eyes at me, and says something like "gimme a sec, gosh" Except this time, the door opened without a fuss. Right away I knew that I was doomed. The car had been ransacked. The glove compartment was hanging open and the hump was raised. My heart dropped. I didn't even have to look, I knew that my ipod was gone. The white USB cord limply dangled from the hump.Suddenly I felt ill.

My ipod means the world to me. I get very attached to my electronic devices. The dumb ipod was a good 6 years old. Everyone made fun of it when I whipped it out. But that's just me. When I am attached to something, I find no reason to upgrade it unless it is absolutely necessary. I loved the vintage feel of it. My list of playlists was enormous. Each list had a story. I carefully hand picked each song and named the list accordingly. My lists defined me. I could understand how people would have a hard time understanding my strife. Who cares, right? It's so silly. Wrong. Those playlists were the soundtrack of my life. My walking diary. The last six or seven years of my life. Gone forever, stolen by a petty thief who was probably disappointed with his spoils. Maybe he made fifty bucks off of it, if even. For all I know he dumped it in the nearest trash can (unless of course, he was a fan of indie obscure music, classic oldies and BRIGHT EYES) DOUBTFUL. I know I seem sexist but my mind tells me it was a male who committed this crime, sorry folks. So yeah. My computer wasn't backed up with my playlists because it had crashed about a year ago and had to be reconfigured. Therefore, they were gone, just like that. One dark friday night in a driveway, one car whose door was left unlocked.. "I'll buy you a new one Rach, I'm sorry" my mother said. I explained to her that I didn't want a new one and she kinda knew that it wasn't the issue. I thanked her of course, she's so cute.

I wish I ripped my lists, but I didn't and I will always feel badly about that.

Recently I got a new computer. A part of me misses my old one that was on its last leg. Again, my devices are like my babies, okay, I'm weird, we know this. I unwrapped the new ipod that had been accumulating dust since the summer in my drawer after winning it in an auction. Everything is new and I am SO LUCKY to have these replacements, things could be a lot worse... but, I will forever miss my babies.

One thing remains the same with me. I do not fair well with goodbyes.