A little while ago I was riding my pride and joy doing some errands along the water. I was wearing a flarey shirt and shorts which isnt a really good idea due to the wind factor, but of course I realized it after I was well on my way. So yeah, my whole stomach and back was exposed.... Best part was I had no idea because my helmet is like a cage so its impossible to even look down, thanks to way too many thumbs up by passerbys I eventually figured it out. Moving along, after trying to tuck in my shirt somewhat, a block later I felt a huge mass fall from the sky, slapping into my chest like a big rock, then hitting my somewhat exposed stomach.."what the hell was that?, ouch!!" Now, there was nothing I could do, I was in the middle of a main road and I couldnt just stop, I needed to be tough.. I finally hit a red light and felt my chest. It confirmed my inkling, A bird had just SHIT on me. What the hell are the odds that a bird shits on ME while riding MY scooter, there were a zillion cars around me...I touched my chest and after further investigating I found that , It was also in my hair, on my hand, on my stomach. This bird was no chickadee nor pigeon, this mustve been an obese falcon because the amount of shit I was covered in was enough to fills a babys pamper. I rode shit clad 2 more miles to the pharmacy where I needed to get wipes and regroup. The pharmacist and the workers were dying when they saw me. They needed five minutes to compose themselves. I laughed with them, but the joke was on me, I regrouped and left.
I guess im just destined to always be shit on one way or another.
The End.
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