Ive been thinking about it lately and it seems that ive turned a new leaf. After a lifetime of just tiptoeing around stuff, im actually at the point in my life where I can just be brutally honest and say what it is that im thinking. I think it sorta comes from growing up and realizing that life is short and finding friends that really matter and that are the real deal are not so easy to come by. So why not be the best friend you can be and say what youre really thinking when they ask your opinion? Sounds pretty easy and simple, right? Not so much.
One of my friends( no, not EL) is hardcore honest and will not spare my feelings at all when I ask her a question.
It hurts like a mother you know whater but at least its REAL. I remember the first time she told me what a person felt about me I almost died. Okay why be vague? Heres the whole story... She was telling me what the dude (whom I accidentally squirt lemon on his face, right, his face, NOT his eye, and he flipped out saying whoa, whoa, in a total serious tone- the blind date- when I squeezed it into my drink) said about me. Now granted, I really didnt care what he had to say because he was so full of himself and couldnt stop talking about his love of food and how many orders of macaroni and cheese he should order for the table. Ive never been with someone so self absorbed in my life who didnt give a damn about anything I had to say. Thank g, we were in a group and my friend was with me so it was okay.
So anyway, I killed her after the night was over, saying that he was uncute and uncool. We laughed about it and agreed. In recapping the next day she mentioned that she had spoken to him and that when she asked him what his problem was the night before, he said that he was sorry but he really wasnt into "her" and that "she" was nice and all but not for him. "She seemed uninterested in me and only interested in herself" he said. WHAT??!! I screamed. MY friend laughed because I had said the same thing about him. I couldnt even get a word in aside from my name. Whatever, he was a mannerless jerk who stole my fork when the entrees came and wore a fake brown ultra suede button down shirt tucked into khakies. REALLY NOW. Need I say more?? For some odd reason though I was miffed. The nerve! I couldnt believe that my friend was so honest with me and spared nothing, ouch.
When I repeated the story the story to my sister, she was scarred that my friend was so honest and repeated exactly what he said. She cringed for me and was like, ouch. I explained to her that I appreciated that because what kind of friend isnt honest? Yeah it stung for a minute, I wanted to poke her with a thumb tack but afterwards I was grateful. Besides, the dude was a total loser and being rejected by a loser a little ouch. I guess he picked up on the "wow you suck" vibe I was dishing even as I smiled through the painful dinner. Did I mention he was balding? Oh sorry, yeah that too.
The bottom line is, sometimes the truth hurts but we all need to hear it. We know that when we ask each others opinion it comes straight from the hip. Like it or not. If shes acting like a loon im gonna tell her, if im sugar coating my faults she will point it out, might not be that second, sometimes she will let me think I got away with it and then she drops the bomb. So.. I encourage you to try this tactic. Be careful though, its not for the faint of heart. Some people cant handle it sooooo if you try this and you feel a lot lighter afterwards but your phone stops ringing, you might want to try not telling your friend that she looks like she put on a few pounds and that her breathe reeked the other night . Baby steps. Tell them that the smell of their perfume gives you a headache or something and then be prepared for the defensive dig back. Within a week itll get juicier and will turn into a blood bath! Good luck and may the force be with you...
No comments:
Post a Comment