PULL OVER!!

If youre a crappy driver, you dont belong driving in NY. Thats just the bottom line folks.

If you answer yes to any one of these, its time to get a metro card and admit failure. I love you regardless!!

1. If it takes you 7 tries to pull into a parking spot you dont belong driving.

2. If you see a garbage truck on the block youre about to enter and you come to a complete stop 50 feet before hand and suddenly you find yourself breaking into a cold sweat over the thought of passing the truck while you have 3 feet on each side, youre not cut out for driving.

3. If you have one of those weird bath mats hanging out of your trunk sagging over your bumper to prevent scratches, you need to go back to NYACK. Really now?

4. If you you spazz out and drive into another car while youre texting your annoying friend, youre not cut out for driving.

5. If youre one of those people that need 10 minutes to regroup before pulling out of a parking spot, meaning you reapply your lipstick, you brush your hair, you take your coat off and fold it, you floss your teeth or you blow your nose, you test out your blinkers, you spray banaca into your mouth or any other gross thing that should be done in a bathroom.. you need to call it quits.

6. If you freak out when someone passes you 15 feet in front of you and you feel compelled to make some retarded hand gesture, ya know, throw in the keys.

7. If you see a friend on the street and you slam on the breaks with 40 cars behind you just to ask how dinner was last night.. you dont belong driving.

8. If youve never gotten a ticket before, you are a goody two shoes and therefore, by default you dont belong driving in NY.

9. If you go into the e z pass lane and you dont have one, because youve never had one, but somehow you "forgot" ... youd better run because ill personally pull you out of your car and confiscate your keys.

10. Finally, if youre license plate reads something super cheezy like 2CUTE4U, ugh, barf... well then, you dont even deserve to breathe our air.

NO im not hostile, Im just sick of annoying drivers.