SAY WHA??

Ive been thinking about how much I wish I had a stenographer with me all the time. People wouldnt believe the kinds of conversations I get into on a daily basis. Some really deep and some really dumb ones. The dumb ones are most entertaining.

Yesterday I got into a heated debate about the best bottled water on the market. You know, the kind that comes from MAINE, ie OUR TOILET BOWLS??

them- "you know which one is the best?"

me- "poland spring, hands down"

them- "omg, no! absolutely not!"

me- "ugh tell me YOU are NOT referring to EVIAN??!!! ewwww BARF. That stuff is so gross."

them- "what?? how could you say that?? I love EVIAN, its THE BEST!!""

me- "ugh, because its from the french or swiss alps or whatever??"
"well for starters, it tastes like thick gross hot plastic, it feels like syrup when you chug it and no matter how cold it is, it always feels warm"

them- "I cannot believe what Im hearing"

me- "no, I lied, it tastes like what I would assume licking the whole length of an ice skating rink covered in saran wrap would taste like. Thick, gross and barfy "

them- "hahahha, omg, gross!!! youre soo right"

me- "case closed- want a bottle of water? im thirsty"

SIDE NOTE-

The world of bottled water according to MOI.

The key players-


evian= hot toilet water


aquafina = corporate cold toilet water/ airport signature brand to carry at the magazine shop= propaganda.


dasani= see aquafina with an odd taste of coffee in it, also smells like an airplane, eww.


volvic= even thicker plastic water. commonly found when on vacation and its familiar logo makes you feel somewhat at home, yet is still tastes awful


dannon= a yogurt company, please, spare us with your entrepreneurial h20 side project.


fiji= beautiful picture to look at, taste- eh, its okay.


panna= restaurant rip off water, but not that bad.


smart water= not so smart.


vitamin water= melted popsicle flavored mixed with toilet water.


deer park= so 1992.


saratoga or those blue bottles on restaurant tables= sink water with floaters in it masked by the hue of the blue glass so that you dont see whats really in there.


POLAND SPRINGS- BEST WATER



Go ahead, leave me your hate comments about how spoiled I am and how I should drink tap water and all that other crap. I do drink tap so leave that out. Dont forget to remind me of the episode on 20/20 where they showed that PS was parasite ridden. A little protein never hurt anyone, right??

K.