EXCUSE ME...

I met my nameless friend for lunch downtown today. We decided to go outdoors because the weather was too nice to sit inside. It took me 40 minutes to get a dumb parking spot and I was bugging out- Worst feeling when you cant find one. Anyway, after what seemed like forever, I finally got one and reached into my bag for quarters. I scraped the bottom only to find dimes and some pennies. Looked in the quarter holder in the car and there was a measly 2. What was 30 minutes going to do for me? I was meeting _______- we can talk for hours at a time!! I was searching under the seats.. under the mats.. nothing. UGH.. I thought to myself. There wasnt a bodega nor a newsstand in sight. I couldnt give this spot up and I wasnt interested in returning to pump the meter up again once I left the vicinity. I put my 2 quarters in and made this frustrated face, hoping that someone would walk by and save me by offering me a quarter or two or possibly 4. But who was I kidding. I live in NY- home of the "help no one" motto. I was struggling to get the gall up to use my girl skills and sheepishly ask someone if they could spare a quarter. I even searched the street around the car. It wasnt even like I had a single to offer for 4 quarters. The smallest bill I had was a 20. Its strange because im so outgoing in so many ways but so shy in others. This instance fell under the "im afraid of my own shadow/painfully shy" category.

Feeling defeated, I kept quiet and decided to go with the cross my fingers and pray that I dont get a ticket plan. When I met _____ I asked her if she had a quarter- Negative. I then said that I was dying to ask a stranger for a quarter but didnt have the guts. I stated that I knew she wouldnt think twice about asking a random stranger and she confirmed. "Whats the big deal?, of course I would" "I know, im a loser, but I just couldnt, I cant do things like that, I become an awkward 5 year old" She rolled her eyes.

We sat, ate, chatted, laughed -- all the usual stuff. We agreed that we would both love a cigarette right then and there, but that I would have to decline because A. I dont smoke and B. I didnt have any smokes. Before I could finish the sentence she poked her head over to the table of 2 guys sitting next to us and plainly said- "do you have a cigarette?" as if they were her best friends and she was asking them about their night last night. UGHHH I was filled with envy- but like the 2nd grade kind of envy you feel when you have your crappy 24 pack of crayola crayons in school and the kid sitting right next to you whips out the huge box with the sharpener and 84 crayons.. Ya follow?? Oh to have b*lls of steel like that... Id be too embarrassed to ever ask. I must say tho, I love a good dare and am ridiculously outgoing in so many other ways. I guess you cant win em all.

By the way, they didnt have one for her. She then asked the waiter for one, oddly no one smoked on staff. And yeah, I got a ticket.

THE END.