RANDOM ROAR..

I had a great weekend this weekend. The weather was amazing. The company was too.

My new niece is a blessing- shes also so very beautiful. Innocence and purity are two words that come to mind when I hold her. Her little body will eventually grow older and taller and this world will have its way with her. Until then though, just sitting still with her- watching her little chest fill with air and slowly fall with a faint sigh makes me melt and reminds me just how precious and miraculous life is. I feel calmest when she is in my arms and that feels good. Im so proud of my sister and my brother in law and watching them with her, makes me teary.

Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with emotion that it becomes hard for me to handle. Not necessarily in a bad way but just in a full way. Sometimes in an overwhelmingly happy kind of way too. Its almost as if ive been eating everything in sight and then suddenly, I feel so full and displaced having no idea what to do with this feeling. Sometimes I just tune it all out and go into auto pilot mode, going thru the daily motions of life. Other times- I dissect and analyze each emotion, like a surgeon. Sometimes I just sit very still with these feelings until they slowly dissolve within me and become diluted with everything else.

The one thing that I am learning not to do, is to act on impulse. Its easier said than done but proves to be rewarding. Thing is, we are inherently programmed with reflexes. Someone hurts you, you punch back to defend yourself. You go to the doctor as a child, the doc hits your knee with that hammer thing to see if your knee rises in time and whether your reflex/reaction is up to par... Something flies by us, we automatically go to block and protect ourselves.
Sometimes we need to just chill out and be- before acting or even not acting on anything.

Youre welcome-